Resources for the Mystery of Confession
Practical Points
Ask yourself the following questions about
your relationship with God:
My identity as a follower of Jesus in the Holy Orthodox Church….
Do I believe in God and the Holy Trinity, in the Divinity of Christ, and in the Holy Spirit? Do I believe in the Church and Her Mysteries (sacraments)?
The framework that leads me to living a repentant life…
What are my struggles that is preventing me from being fully embraced by His unconditional love for me?
Are there two versions of me? One version in church settings and another at work/school? If so, where do you see the difference?
Do I swear? What kind of things do I say around friends/family?
How do I manage my anger?
How am I handling sexual thoughts? Do I masturbate? Do I watch things that dishonors the fragile gift of sexuality?
How am I protecting myself when I am on social media/online? (pornography, no boundaries on my time, excessive screen time, etc…)
How is my quiet time with God? Do I have daily time with God?
Have I been attached to material things and/or to worldly items?
Have I been selfish, stingy, or "cheap," or a lover of money?
Have I been greedy?
Am I prideful?
Do I brag about myself or my family?
Do I seek praise? Do I want others to flatter me, and/or do I get angry when they offer suggestions or constructive criticism?
Do I get upset when someone points out my mistakes and errors; or when I am corrected or reprimanded by my seniors and/or supervisors
Am I stubborn, obstinate, egotistical, self-proud, or self-centered? I must pay attention to these sins because it is very hard to get rid of them.
Do I dress indecently? Do I wear clothing appropriate to the opposite sex? Do I dress provocatively, or cause scandal by my appearance?
Have I ever considered suicide? Have I been seriously or severely depressed?
Do I honor my body? (alcohol, drugs, smoking, self harm, etc…)
Do I practice obedience; do I quietly accept the directions of others who are my seniors, my guides, my leaders, or my supervisors?
Ask yourself the following questions about
your relationship with other people:
1. Do I have hatred, or a strong dislike, toward someone, even if they may have treated me badly or insulted me?
2. Am I suspicious of others, or do I distrust others without good reason or cause? Do I think that others may be talking about me, that they do not want me, that they do not like me, or that they do not love me?
3. Am I jealous and/or bothered by the progress, happiness, beauty, or possessions of others?
5. Am I honest, straightforward, sincere, and upright in my every day dealings with friends, partners, co-workers, and/or customers?
6. Have I accused another person?
7. Do I speak sarcastically or make fun of others? Do I belittle or make fun of those who are pious and devout? Do I put down or make fun of those who are handicapped by physical, emotional, or spiritual weakness?
8. If I heard some information or an accusation about someone, did I repeat it to another person? Have I damaged the reputation and honor of another person? Do I gossip about others?
9. Do I judge the behavior, deeds, mistakes, shortcomings, or weaknesses of others? Do I do so even if such attributes appear to be true?
10. Do I curse those whom I dislike, or who have done wrong to me, or who have hurt me? Have I cursed myself in difficult times or circumstances in my life? Have I regretted the day I was born?
11. Do I find myself comparing myself to others in a negative way?
15. Did I let my anger get the best of me? Do I verbally abuse others?
18. Do I carry out my vocation in life (work/school) with integrity and honor?
19. Do I steal?
20. Have I taken advantage of my position or authority for my own gain? Have I borrowed money or other objects and failed to return them?
21. Do I hang around with the "wrong crowd," and/or am I involved in sinful relations or actions with others? Have I pushed or encouraged someone to sin either by my example or through my words?
23. Do I donate/tithe to His church? Do I give of myself with the resources God has given me? (serving in a ministry, serve those around me, etc…)
If you are married, ask yourself the following questions about
your relationship with your spouse:
1. Have I offended or saddened my spouse publicly or in the presence of others?
2. Do I overlook my spouse's weaknesses? Have I been insensitive?
4. Do I encourage my spouse to follow the latest fashions or popular attitudes which contradict God's Law and my Orthodox faith? Do I influence my spouse to attend parties or social gatherings which I know are unhealthy for our souls?
5. Am I sensitive to the personal struggles that each of us may have outside the house and inside the home, so that we can support each other in the daily struggle by providing emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual comfort for each other?
6. Am I overly demanding of my spouse?
7. Do I inhibit or prevent my spouse from going to Church or from attending spiritual gatherings, sermons, or instruction?
8. Is my spouse guilty of a habitual sin or a sinful habit; if so, have I patiently urged him/her through example and through kind words to repentance?
9. If I am the husband, have I assumed my ordained role as a Christ-like head of the family by sacrificing myself in every way to love, cherish, and care for my wife and my children? Do I make the "tough decisions" fairly and with total self-denial for the good and welfare of my wife and children? Do I come home at an early and reasonable hour from work? Do I spend unnecessary or excessive time away from my family with friends or associates in business, athletic, or social activities? Do I put my wife and my children first, or do other pursuits, occupations, or my career come before them? I must remember that I will learn humility by being a Christian husband and father; and the gates of heaven will open unto me.
10. If I am the wife, have I given over my natural inclination and desire to be the head of the family to my husband? Do I accept his decisions regarding the family with patience, or do I seek to argue and criticize him? Do I encourage him with patience and kindness to assume his proper role in the family?
11. If I am the husband, am I under the false impression that child-rearing and development is a responsibility of my wife? Do I understand that I also am responsible to care for them physically, to read to them, to advise them, to teach them, to spend time with them, to let them feel my kind and patient presence? Do I teach them by my example that they must hold back, restrain themselves, and not get into trouble; or do I mislead them through neglect, abandonment, and/or bad example?
12. Do I love and respect my in-laws? I must remember that the most severe test of my love for my spouse is the degree to which I can love the parents who nurtured him/her, who fashioned him/her according to their lives, and who presented him/her to me as my groom/bride. I must remember that in many cases the things that I consider irritating in my in-laws are the very things that are difficulties in my relationship with my spouse; overcoming them in one will help me deal with them in the other.
If you have children, ask yourself the following questions about
your relationship with them:
1. Do I teach my children that the Lord God is Lord alone, and that they must love Him with all their heart, all their soul, and all their might?
2. Do I take an interest in the whole education of my children, personal, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual; or do I ignore certain of these?
3. Do I take my children to Church, to Holy Confession, to Holy Communion, and other events in the life of the Church?
4. Do I teach my children by word and example; or does my example contradict my words?
5. Do I teach my children to pray each morning and each night? Do I teach them to pray at mealtimes?
6. Do I know what my children are reading or watching online?
7. Do I know who my children associate with and play with? Do I encourage them to associate and play with other moral, Christian, and Orthodox children?
8. Do I curse my children when I am angry with them?
9. Have I physically struck my children inappropriately?
10. Have I hurt my children emotionally? 1
11. Have I abused my children physically and/or emotionally?